Where to start...I've been trying to think how to document Ellie's first few months of life. We've taken so many pictures I don't know what to do with them all!!! I think I'll just do a photo drop each month with a little recap. Everyone is probably sick of seeing all these pictures of her, but I could look at them all day long...and I probably would if I didn't have the real thing to look at! It is crazy how fast she is growing and changing. She is now 9 pounds 6 ounces and 22 1/8 inches long.
By the end of her first month of life she started making some eye contact, which I love! She has been a great baby so far...I couldn't ask for a better baby! The walk out of the hospital was the most daunting walk of my life!!! I couldn't believe they were letting us take her. HA! Her first night home was pretty horrible...but things have significantly improved since then. She cried pretty much all night her first night home. I didn't know what to do! But we survived. The next morning she finally fell into a deep sleep and I was so relieved. That is when I had to start trusting my instincts, something that our pediatrician told me to do while we were still at the hospital. Ellie was going on 3 hours of sleep and I thought about waking her up because the lactation consultants at the hospital told me, "You need to feed her every 3 hours. Wake her up if you have to!" I realized how much those ladies stressed me out! Landen and I both felt that we just needed to let her sleep...so we trusted our instincts and let her sleep. Oh what a difference a good amount of sleep made for her!!! That day was soooo much better!
That first week or so was really hard for me because I wasn't able to breastfeed Ellie. We kept trying and trying, but she was having problems latching on (she's a tongue thruster) and my milk never came in (I would pump for 15 minutes with one of those hospital grade double electric pumps and I would get about 1 ounce...so frustrating.) We were trying to do this version of SNS but it was ridiculous. It took both Landen and I to feed her every time. I would end up just crying almost every time we fed her. Not to mention Ellie would be screaming because she was frustrated. Most stressful moments of my life. Eventually I had to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn't be able to nurse her. It was really hard for me. That was something I had planned to do and was looking forward to, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. I guess I can't complain, everything else went so smoothly. Once I made the decision to just bottle feed Ellie I started feeling much better. I still had my moments where I felt like a failure, but it's okay now. As my friend Jess reminded me, "Babies that are fed formula don't die...babies that aren't fed die!" Thanks for putting that in perspective, friend! It also helped me come to terms with it when our pediatrician told us his kids were all formula fed. Oh, and on top of the stressful feeding situation my emotions were just out of whack in a way they had never been before!!! It was insane. People tell you you'll be emotional, but I didn't expect it to be that crazy! I was really grateful when my emotions started to level out some :)
So anyway, other than this little bump in the road things have been going great! I'm learning what REAL sleep deprivation is like! HA! But I can't complain. Things have been going really well. It was really nice to have Landen home for the whole first week to help out! (He got to change a diaper for the first time ever...and it was poopy! HA!) I'm grateful for an incredible visiting teacher who came to the rescue and got meals set up for us. I called her in tears because no one had brought us any meals and it had been almost a week...I realized no one in the ward even knew we had the baby!!! I now know why it is so important to take meals to families with newborns...I didn't have the time or energy to cook...and most days I would forget to eat...it was crazy. I appreciate that service so much!
Landen's first night back to work was a little terrifying...being home alone with a newborn was just a crazy experience...but once again, we survived. I had one week home alone (where Landen was back to work) and that was a long week...but it made me extra grateful when my parents came to visit for 2 whole weeks!!! It was so great to have 2 extra people to help take care of Ellie. I got to shower more often and sleep more!!! It was awesome. I put more about their visit in a separate post. They sure helped me make it through the first month! Looking back now it seems like a long time ago...it's kind of a blur too. This is definitely one of those things in life you can never really prepare for! But it was such a great time of life, even with it's ridiculous challenges. I don't think I've prayed so much in my life! I definitely couldn't have made it through this first month without the help of a loving Heavenly Father, without a few priesthood blessings, without Landen and without the help of our loving family. We are so blessed to have Ellie Beth here! One month down...many, many, many more to come! Photo drop...ready, GO!
