The Job Situation.

So, this move and having a baby and all that has been going on has been an extremely large learning experience for me.  And it keeps going...not sure if it will stop any time soon, but we're making it!  I have now been unemployed since December 14, 2012.  That's almost 3 months!  Wow.  For someone who has had some kind of job since she was about 14 years old, this is a really big change!   I went on the hunt to find employment in the Logan area starting back in August.  Due to not being able to find someone to replace me at the Chiropractic office for a long time I ended up being there until December (once we finally found someone and I trained her I left). 

As I continued to search for a new job things were just NOT working out!  Part of me wanted to be mad for staying at my old job for so long to help them out, but I can't blame it on that.  I was really blessed that I actually COULD stay there that long and I felt like that was where I needed to be at the time and I was doing the right thing.  I just couldn't leave them high and dry without someone to replace me.  As time drug on I was having no success.  I'm not going to lie, it was a very frustrating time of my life.  I even applied at McDonalds...and they didn't want me!  HA!  Talk about a blow to your self esteem. 

And the entire time, the more days that passed meant I was getting closer to having a baby!  Which I began to realize was probably why I was not getting hired (or at least considered) for a few positions I did interview for.  One lady told me that she would call my references that day...I checked with my previous manager and she never got a phone call...hmm...that is when I knew, things were really not looking good.  I honestly can't blame the businesses for their decision, they have to do what is best for them.  But I still kept praying to find a job.  The last straw was pulled when I couldn't even get on to do substitute teaching since I wasn't available through the end of the school year.  At that point I knew, this just wasn't going to happen.

I didn't know what to do and I felt so lost.  I was still ABLE to work, I felt like I should be working.  Through serious prayer and talking to some inspired friends I started to realize that maybe Heavenly Father has a different plan for me.  It started to become more clear that maybe He was preparing me to be able to stay home and raise my child.  When I put it all on paper it just doesn't work financially.  Period.  It does not work.  So I had never considered this a real option in my life right now, even though it is what I've always wanted to be able to do with my life for as long as I can remember.  I could never make it work, but Heavenly Father must know something I don't.  He must know that somehow we can make it work, only with His help...I can't see how it is going to happen, but I've resorted to accepting that my vision is quite limited!  I've never had my faith stretched so far and for such a long period of time in my life.  Though as I look back on previous life experience it is interesting how things happen in your life to prepare you for bigger things. 

Once I had that confirmation that this is the new path for me I was able to stop job searching and start focusing on getting ready for the baby.  I still have days where I feel guilty for not working.  I'm still trying to figure out some way to be able to make some sort of income from home.  And through it all I am just trying to trust the Lord that things will work out the way He has planned for our family.  But it has given me a lot of time to get this house in order!  There has been so much cleaning and painting and unpacking that still needed done and I've been able to get most of that kind of stuff done.  And now the baby will be able have a place to stay when she decides to grace us with her presence :)  So I guess I can be grateful that I have had productive things to occupy my time and that I'm not sitting idle.  I also have come to realize that I need to just appreciate this time that I have to relax some...because that is going to be changing in the very near future!!!  I won't have time like this again in my life probably ever!!!  Ha. 

As I take this giant leap of faith into the unknown, I am very grateful for the promises the Lord makes to us.  I am grateful to know that as I do what He instructs me to do He will make it possible.  I don't know how, but He will.  He always has in the past and He will continue to do so now.  I'm very grateful for the extra time I've had to spend on the spiritual part of life, to be able to read and study more and attend the temple more often.  It has been a huge blessing in my life.  It seems like everyday I get some reassuring message from the scriptures or something that I read that reminds me things will be okay and will work out in the Lord's way and timing.  They are tender mercies for my sanity!  I'm grateful for this new path to travel, to be able to fulfil the most holy calling I can as a woman, to be a mother. We'll just have to see where the Lord takes us!